- Be coloured.
- Approach a bearded white man who’s standing outside Waitrose supermarket brandishing a “BOYCOTT ISRAELI APARTHEID” poster.
- As he is handing out leaflets, tell him in a hurt voice with a posh-African accent*, “You people have no idea of what apartheid was like!”
- Brush fragments of his skull off your T-shirt.
[Before I told this story to him, a(n anonymous) blogger I was on my way to meet said to me: “I saw those protestors outside Waitrose and I was going to have a word with them, then I thought, ‘Nah. PooterGeek’ll be along in a minute.’”]
*Of course, the protestor’s subsequent stunned silence might have resulted from his thinking, “Apartheid? In Wales?”
19 Comments
That’s fantastic.
Are you available for hire?
(Haven’t seen these types outside a Waitrose, although frankly, given that the two Waitroses I have ever shopped at are both in neighbourhoods with large Jewish populations, I don’t think they’d have the guts, frankly.)
Marks & Sparks on Oxford Street, though. The “boycott Israeli apartheid” are a frequent, albeit ignorant, menace there, too often.
In some contexts an _Israeli_ accent suffices to fluster the anti-Israel crowd. Some of them seem to operate on the premise that in the Isra-Pal conflict there’s only one “exotic” group, and when they actually experience the “otherness” of an Israeli accent, well, it does make them…no, I don’t want to go so far as to say “think” … but I have seen it have an effect.
..But I bet yours is more consistently effective.
“…a bearded white man” - so its’ a Londoner, not one of our locals here. We and our neighbors tend to run into brownish or a graceful beige area of the spectrum.
Don’t be cruel to beardy lefties, they have feeling, too !
Waitrose? That’s chickenfeed. You should try the Oxford Street Marks and Spencer where there are regular boycott demonstrations by a group of pro-Palestinians. Oddly, the large Arab muslim community on the Edgware Road takes absolutely no notice and continues to shop there.
(There are always counter-demonstrations by a group of pro-Israelis)
Why do they want to boycott M&S? Because Marks was Jewish?
Sheesh.
“Marks & Spencer are not targeted because they are “Jewish” or “Israeli” owned, but, rather, because they deal extensively with Israel, buy preferentially from Israeli sellers and buy products which are produced in Israeli settlements in the Occupied Territories.”
…according to “Andy” in an email to Workers’ Liberty online.
First thing I googled that explained the boycott. Do you think Sam’s explanation, that it’s a simple case of anti-semitism, is more correct?
No.
I wonder would you have responded to his comment as quickly as you did to mine?
I would if I hadn’t thought he was being ironic.
Where did your permalinks go, you groovy Guardian-gunning Geekster you?
Just click on the title of the relevant post and you’re there.
Ah yes, of course. Duh. Thanks.
“I’ve been very deeply distressed in my visit to the Holy Land; it reminded me so much of what happened to us black people in South Africa. […] Have our Jewish sisters and brothers forgotten their humiliation? Have they forgotten the collective punishment, the home demolitions, in their own history so soon?”
“Many South Africans are beginning to recognize the parallels to what we went through. Ronnie Kasrils and Max Ozinsky, two Jewish heroes of the anti-apartheid struggle, recently published a letter titled “Not in My Name.” Signed by several hundred other prominent Jewish South Africans, the letter drew an explicit analogy between apartheid and current Israeli policies. Mark Mathabane and Nelson Mandela have also pointed out the relevance of the South African experience.”
Archbishop Desmond Tutu (awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1984 for his work against apartheid, a subject he apparently knows fuck all about)
And here’s a speech from Nelson Mandela:
Having been a leader of oppressed black South Africans doesn’t seem to prevent someone from talking shit about Israel, talking shit about racism, or, indeed, talking shit about anything else.
Would you rather have been a black in Soweto under Botha, or an Arab in Jaffa under Peres?
Just as a matter of interest, were you living in South Africa under Apartheid?
Nope.
3 Trackbacks
How to make Jo laugh…
Just seen this on PooterGeek. Easy ways to make me laugh out loud on a dull Tuesday afternoon:
How To Make A Guardian Reader’s Head Explode
Be coloured.
Approach a bearded white man who’s standing outside Waitrose supermarket brandishing a “BOYC…
How to make Jo laugh…
Just seen this on PooterGeek. Easy ways to make me laugh out loud on a dull Tuesday afternoon:
How To Make A Guardian Reader’s Head Explode
Be coloured.
Approach a bearded white man who’s standing outside Waitrose supermarket brandishing a “BOYC…
[…] The other day, I was (as I so often am) on the door at the end of a central Brighton soul and Motown event with a mixed race lesbian bouncer. She leerily told me tales of her days running sapphic club nights, and how the punters only really started to pile in when she imported a couple of London-based girl-on-girl dancers whose speciality was a floorshow involving lit candles. Our conversation was interrupted at one point by her own girlfriend ringing her on her mobile and her answering, to my stifled amusement, with the timeless phrase: “I’ve told you about calling me at work.” [I think this counted as another one of those situations designed to make a Guardian reader’s brain explode.] […]