1. Be coloured.
  2. Approach a bearded white man who’s standing outside Waitrose supermarket brandishing a “BOYCOTT ISRAELI APARTHEID” poster.
  3. As he is handing out leaflets, tell him in a hurt voice with a posh-African accent*, “You people have no idea of what apartheid was like!”
  4. Brush fragments of his skull off your T-shirt.

[Before I told this story to him, a(n anonymous) blogger I was on my way to meet said to me: “I saw those protestors outside Waitrose and I was going to have a word with them, then I thought, ‘Nah. PooterGeek’ll be along in a minute.'”]

*Of course, the protestor’s subsequent stunned silence might have resulted from his thinking, “Apartheid? In Wales?”