Following on from the satisfyingly successful “Embarrassed And Mystified”, PooterGeek now invites you to come up with two more celebrities’ names. To comment on this thread you must cite someone in the public eye you consider to be talentless, crooked, annoying or otherwise undeserving of the admiration they get, but you can’t help liking; and someone who inexplicably keeps getting away with it, where “it” can be anything from being comprehensively useless to stealing money from sick children and spending it flying around the Middle East, dining with murderous thieves—just as an example, unrelated to anything which follows, obviously.
To start the game I offer my two candidates: Jamie Oliver—verduratingly high-earning multimedia success and ubiquitous, mockney geezah youf that he is, I have to concede that he quite probably has a heart of gold, the bastard:
And, to bagsy him before everyone else does (and to avoid legal problems with the comments), please someone tell me when the World will see through the obnoxious George Galloway—and finally acknowledge how limited his debating skills are, of course:
As before, non-libellous bitching is welcome.
UPDATE: I have been asked by a traumatised PooterGeeker, a Ms Trellis of Upside-Down Land, to shroud Gorgeous George’s loveliness in such a way to protect his modesty. Happy to oblige.
30 Comments
1 Tracey Emin - clearly talentless, but would probably be a good laugh down the pub.
2 Zadie Smith - clearly talentless (clear to me anyway) and probably too busy being overhyped to go anywhere near a pub.
1. Can’t help liking Michael Portillo, I don’t know why, there is just something about him that I find very interesting and he seems rather dashing.
2. Linda Barker, not quite as ubiquitous as she once was but still bloody annoying.
1. Since I impulse-bought his diaries yesterday, Piers Morgan would be an obvious choice - the man is the very incarnation of a tosser with regard to pretty much every single thing he does, and I deeply treasure his utterly humiliating stitching-up on Have I Got News For You (annoyingly, the book isn’t indexed, so I don’t know if he mentions it)…
…but anyone who can write something like “Hoodies are, after all, public enemy number one - a social menace right up there in media perception with al-Qaeda and Kate Moss” gets my vote every time.
2. Five years ago, I’d have said Jeffrey Archer, but that was before he got nicked - so it’ll have to be the SWP’s Lindsay German for issuing the year’s most pompously self-regarding press release at a time when most people had other things on their minds.
Lowering the tone, but they come as a pair so they can stay that way:
Vernon Kay:
Looks like a giant child-man, gangly limbs, no discernible presenting skills, not really funny, floppy hair, attempts at faux-irony utterly failing, presenting Chris Evan’s abortive Boys and Girls, married to Tess Daily… but he seems so nice and cheery, and it might be because he sits next to…
June Sarpong:
Did you know the first time she was on tv people complained because they thought she was drunk? How this talentless woman with an inability to talk faster than thirty words per minute, a truly horrific laugh and a singing voice that could qualify as a WMD, managed to get the gig to interview Blair before the election is simply beyond me. Maybe the kids like her?
1. Jim Davidson
2. Tony Benn
Eamonn Says:
September 30th, 2005 at 13:46
1. Jim Davidson
2. Tony Benn
I know everybody is free to voice their opinions but these are the wrong way round, aren’t they?
I second Vernon Kay. What a great bloke.
Elvis Costello. Can you believe he had the nerve to take the piss out of Sting for singing in a fake accent?
[I’ve done an ad with Vernon Kay and he is a terrific bloke - apart from his disturbing love of all things Bolton Wanderers. My comments on Zadie Smith elsewhere mean I concur with OP.]
Helen Baxendale - Over-rated actress, thin, reedy voice that’s useless for radio ads, yet on her day capable of nailing her characters.
Beverley Turner - The thinking man’s Julia Carling.
Andy C
“Liberty, if it means anything, is the right to tell people what they don’t want to hear” *
* Quoted from the blogsite formerly known as Harry’s Place
Eamonn,
You’re still wrong though.
David Beckham - I don’t rate him as a footballer, his PR people need shooting as does whoever thought a half-Dutch slapper was the right person to be his PA. And I’m sick of reading about him in the papers. But underneath it all, a nice bloke I reckon. The female version would be Patsy Kensit.
Jimmy Hill Only in Britain would this man still have a television programme and still be considered an ‘expert’ and of import. He was never either and certainly isn’t now - talentless and irritating but still on telly every week. Why can’t he do a Frank Bough or something?
Julie Burchill - annoying and yet quite admirable for not ever caring if she’s consistent about the little things. On the other side John Humphries, no empathy and no longer effective.
Ha! Once again Harry of The Place is exposed as the Blairite cheerleader we have long suspected him of being. His endorsement of Beckham was inevitable on the day it was announced that the notorious midfielder would move to the right.
1. Tom Cruise. The David Beckham of acting. A flaming scientologist, for chrissake, but I can’t help thinking he’s great in everything I’ve seen him in. And I envy his hair.
2. Jonathan Ross. On television, especially, I can’t understand how he continues to get work. Always makes the same mistakes (plays to the studio audience rather than the people watching; pretends to be everyone’s best mate; endlessly comments on people’s appearance; makes all his interviews about him; labours every joke), makes unwatchable tv, and yet is considered some kind of jewel in the entertainment crown.
1. Kenneth Clarke. I hate his politics, his music, smoking and his shoes - but their is something about him.
2. Tony Benn. What is that all about? Is it the upper class voice and his age? Because his politics stand up to about 5 minutes scrutiny. Oh, and that fawning interview. Ugh.
Robbie Williams - self-indulgent, whining, rubbish music and yet I still fancy him.
U2 (if I can’t have a band then read Bono) - pompous, hideously over-rated, insufferable.
Opposite of Anthony:
Benn and Ken are both now insufferable, but:
1. at least Benn flew against the fascist hordes in WW2
2. Ken flogs cigarettes to Third World kiddies
1. Ian Wright
2. Johnny Vaughn
On casualidiot’s comments, Benn did join the RAF as a fighter pilot, but the war ended before he had the chance to see combat (not his fault, and I’m not denying his actual willingness to put his life on the line to fight against fascists - unlike the rest of the STWC crowd today).
For the record, Dalyell was in the army in WWII - I think he was a tank commander and did see action. Again, he’s in a different league from all those who think that waving a placard and shouting a slogan makes you a hero.
“managed to get the gig to interview Blair before the election is simply beyond me. Maybe the kids like her?”
I think she used to go out with David Lammy, MP for some place down south, below Watfiord. So she has connections or somehing.
1. Hulk Hogan. I admire his tan, and he does a lot for charity, and he’s a shit actor, and he can’t wrestle.
2. Jeremy Clarkson. He’s a bit of a tit really, but you have to admire his insensitivity, and the way he wears his jeans.
1. David Davis. Tory man as used car dealer. Not usually an attractive archetype, but there’s something about that broken nose that makes one think he’ll be good for the Cons. Would like to see him beat up Alistair Campbell.
2. Shami Chakrabati. Obviously doing sterling work, and is top NGO pin-up. So perhaps not quite applicable here… but can’t resist putting her in as she never quite loses the irritatingly scolding mien of the paid complainer. Plus, she sports an awful GLC haircut.
1. Harold Wilson. Like the fact that in real life he smoked cigars, not pipe.
2. The LibDems. If they need to be right wing, to win, they’ll be right wing (racist election leaflets in Tower Hamlets in the 80s) if they need to be left wing they’ll be left wing. Anything to get their useless bums on the green leather seats of the HofC.
My grandmother was a traditional old Tory until she saw Tony Benn speak. She’s been vaguely socialist ever since. In. Sane.
What really pisses me off about him is that, when he actually had some power, he engineered a scheme whereby the Champagne and caviar guzzled by Joan Collins and her friends on Concorde would be subsidised by taxes paid by poor working-class people for fifteen years or so, and he names that to this day as one of his greatest achievements and people still regard him as a socialist.
Just to follow up on Squander Two’s point, another Benn achievement (as recorded in his diaries) was to approve studies to upgrade Polaris in 1968. To cut a long story short, there was pressure within Whitehall to surrender the nuclear deterrent because of Britain’s financial problems. Wilson wanted to keep the bomb. Benn (the then Minister of Technology) supported him, stating that it would be a shame if all the technological expertise involved in the Polaris force was written off for good. This is the same Barmy Benn who keeps appearing on the box, going on about how terrible nuclear weapons are and how he’s always been against them. What a cock.
Oliver, yes Shami Chakrabati is irritating, and ‘GLC haircut’ is a wonderful phrase.
1. Boris Johnson. It must be an act, musn’t it? And yet, and yet … he makes me smile, and think “Now if HE was leader of the Tory party…” (…at least they’d be an OPEN laughing stock?)
2. Crown Princess Masako of Japan. Described variously as stressed, whinging, put upon or spoilt. Somehow I just like her. She’s had a raw deal, and she’s smart and cute.
1. Silvio Berlusconi: ghastly in so many ways but there is something almost charmingly preposterous about him. In a similar vein, I’m sure Rupert Murdoch is in many ways a dreadful person, but the people who blame him for all the world’s ills - you know who they are - are so cripplingly tedious that I can’t help but have a sneaking sense of admiration for old Rupe.
2. Jack Vettriano. It is, I suppose, fine for people to like his paintings and buy his prints. But now we’re supposed to take him seriously as an artist? Please.
Coming in a strong second is JK Rowling: it’s one thing for children to be enthralled by her - prosaically rendered - stories - but I just don’t understand what so many normally intelligent adults see in her writing. She’s just not a very good writer.
This probably makes me an “elitist” - the worst thing in the world these days apparently. O tempora, o mores…
So, in third place: Jeremy Paxman. Haven’t we tired of him by now? Shouldn’t we have?
Oh, and Boris Johnson. The man’s a clown, pure and simple.
Actually, now that I think of it, Berlusconi could just as easily be in the “how do they keep getting away with it?” category.
In the “useless but strangely likeable” stakes I’d also enter the Scotland football team.
I’m amazed that no one until me votes for Bill Clinton. I mean, how can ya not be awed b y a guy who plays jazz saxophone, has a way with a cigar and a wayward way with the women … and tells huge porkies about it … and not only gets to be a popular president of the USA, but is voted No 2 to Nelson Mandela as man most suitable to rule the world? (BBC poll)
I guess I’m not suprised no-one’s come forward with this one yet, but I’m going to put my head on the block and say:
1. George W. Bush
I’m quite sure the man is almost everything his opponents claim, but I’ve been unable to help liking him since he said: “This is an impressive crowd. The haves and the have-mores. Some people call you the elite. I call you my base”. Now that’s my kind of humour.
2. Ewan McGregor
Good in Trainspotting, okay in Shallow Grave, utterly unbearable in anything since. My toes still point upwards ever since I saw A Life Less Ordinary.