Category Archives: Sport

Rulers and Riders

To try out my exciting multiple-choice plugin, test your knowledge of 18th-century British Prime Ministers and contemporary British competitive horseriders by guessing which of the two categories each of the following named individuals falls into. Like this:Like Loading…

Statistics Is Fun

Have a look at this elegant illustration of the relative safety of one cervical cancer vaccine. Read this intriguing blogpost about how the appointment of bean-counters at Premiership clubs might well have made league games even more exciting to watch (as well as costing bookies money). [Thanks to Jim P.] Like this:Like Loading…

Aussie Supporters As Gracious As Ever

One cool thing about twitter is the ability to search for a particular subject and see what people around the World are saying about it right now. This morning, as England’s tail-enders were putting on some cheeky runs, I searched for “Ashes”—which, as you’d expect, has recently become one of the most common words appearing […]

The Smell Of Home

I’ve been known to be uncomplimentary here about Tamworth, the town where I grew up. Back in the 80s, an Australian barman once told a friend of mine that, travelling around England, it was the place where he had been beaten up most frequently for being Australian. And he was white. Thanks to Paulie for […]

Making The Cars Run On Time

Bernie Ecclestone, the Formula One chief, said yesterday that he preferred totalitarian regimes to democracies and praised Adolf Hitler for his ability to “get things done”. Mr Ecclestone endorsed the concept of a government based on tyranny. “Politicians are too worried about elections,” he said. “We did a terrible thing when we supported the idea […]

Primitive Tool Use

Cunningly, Yahoo! has made a virtue of the Alex Massie view of the relative lack of sophistication of “Twenty20″ cricket to promote their live online coverage of the world championships. [The video embedded below is a Windows Media file.] Like this:Like Loading…

Villa beat Manchester

Chorlton Villa: 6 — Manchester International FC: 4 Like this:Like Loading…

Typical Bloody Scousers

You park the team bus outside Anfield on a Sunday and within minutes the wheels are off. (Now that our improbable “breakthrough” season has officially gone down the tubes, can Villa just return to mid-table mediocrity again, please? I can’t be doing with the misplaced hope.) Like this:Like Loading…

An Eight-Year-Old Watches Man U Versus Liverpool

From The Motley Fool: My 8-year old daughter enters the room. Millie: Aww, football?! Football is such rubbish. As the daughter of a life-long Saints supporter she has a point. Me: That’s true, but it’s not on for long. A lump of sulk flops down next to me. I try to remember why other teams […]

Double Knockout

A lot of women think testosterone is a dangerous substance, but without it mankind would be incapable of feats like this. [Flash video, via The Motley Fool] Like this:Like Loading…

Happy (western, heliocentric) New Year!

I hope that, wherever you are, you enjoyed the extra second imposed upon you by the imperialist forces of the dominant scientific-capitalist worldview and that you have a prosperous 2009. As for my year so far, I jogged wearily to the gym this morning, dreading the crowds of resolutioners (though it hasn’t been too bad […]

“It’s not the despair; I can cope with the despair. It’s the hope I can’t stand.”

Cornershop Man watches every single cricket international he can on his satellite TV under the counter—and, unlike me, he fails the Tebbit test. At the start of the week, I asked him: “Suppose you’re looking forward to whupping England’s backsides?” “Hmm,” he inhaled, “I don’t know. You’ve got some good bowlers with you. You could […]

Jumpers For Goalposts

[UPDATE: For the hordes arriving here after searching for the comedy catchphrase “Jumpers for goalposts”, you’d probably be better off reading this.] Yesterday afternoon, I interrupted some desk-bound consulting work that, even if I weren’t prevented by an NDA from doing so, would put you to sleep instantly if I told you about it, to […]

Always To The Swift

This is a neat little article that sketches out why your skin colour doesn’t determine your chance of growing up to become an elite sprinter; but your genetic make-up might: There are no sprinters of note from Asia, even with more than 50 percent of the world’s population, a Confucian and Tao tradition of discipline, […]

Karma Police On Patrol

Led by The Fat One, Take That are top of the singles charts and will soon be top of the album charts. Robbie Williams is not. I feel about this state-of-affairs the same way I feel about Histon beating Leeds in the FA Cup. Like this:Like Loading…

Those Beige Headlines In Full

TIGER WOODS WINS 2008 US OPEN DESPITE KNEE INJURY CAUSED BY ILLEGAL KARATE ATTACK FROM EVIL MAFIA GOLFER ROCCO MEDIATE. OBTAINS CRUCIAL PAR SCORE ON SUDDEN-DEATH HOLE USING “CRANE KICK” BEFORE COLLAPSING ON THE FINAL GREEN IN AGONY, MUTTERING “I DID IT FOR YOU, ELIN!” LEWIS HAMILTON CLINCHES WORLD F1 DRIVERS’ CHAMPIONSHIP IN HIS MCLAREN, […]

I Warned Them, But Did They Listen To Me?…

Perhaps you remember my posting about my little sister’s small claims case against Sky. I wasn’t surprised to receive an email from her on Friday informing me that, after months of time-wasting and attempts at legal intimidation by them—don’t get lawyerly with woman who teaches law—she has finally and comprehensively whupped their sorry asses. My […]

11.05 Miles

I typed the postcode of the house in which I grew up into the box here and it turns out that my childhood decision to support Aston Villa cannot be challenged under the manly rules of manliness. Like this:Like Loading…

Bloke-tastic!

And now a post combining football and science: Imagine a robotic David Beckham six times smaller than an amoeba playing with a ‘soccer ball’ no wider than a human hair … with all of the action happening on a field the size of single grain of rice. Yes, it’s “Nanosoccer“: [S]occer nanobots, operated by human […]

If Only They Could Both Lose

I have been known to have fun at the expense of Chelsea and Manchester United on this site, but following their meeting yesterday, it’s time for me to invite my reader to extend some sympathy to the latter at least. Watchers of Premiership football who value the contribution to the league of Manchester United’s modest […]

Timing

This afternoon, I walked through my door and picked up this week’s local free newspaper, The Brighton and Hove Leader. Amongst the insert spam included today was a glossy advert for Forbes TV rentals, inviting me to hire a flatscreen TV in time for the Beijing Olympics 2008 and a brochure inviting me to come […]

Good Sports

In the summer of 2006, a particular grim one for British sport, this blog made public the list of new events planned for the 2012 London Olympics. Following the nation’s successes in Beijing, that has been further revised to include the following, again in alphabetical order: 4×4 Hundred-School Run Aussie Baiting Chopper-, Grifter-, Strika-, and […]

Russia Begins Withdrawal

Following the Russian overhaul of the British Olympic medal tally, Russian President Vladimir Putin Dmitry Medvedev has agreed to pull occupying troops back from South Kensingtonia. The president had argued that the democratically elected, ethnically Lithuanian leader of Londonia, Boris Johnson, had forced his hand through “[Johnson’]s encouragement of Britain’s recent atypical sporting aggression”. The […]

“At least we’re still ahead of New Zealand.”

One of the sweetest things about beating the Aussies is that they are spectacularly bad losers. Like this:Like Loading…

Slapped

The top of the BBC News page about a possible new cure for baldness carries an image of an anonymous baldie: The bottom of the same page has images of Nick Robinson and Terry Wogan: Yesterday, as I was running to the gym past a bunch of army cadets waiting outside a local youth centre, […]

lolron

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Columnist Sneers At Drunken Fool And Demonstrates His Own Ignorance

It’s been global find-and-replace time again at the nationals over the past couple of days as the columnists check the “Fallen_Hero.dot” Word template out of the their publications’ databases in response to the detention of former football star Paul Gascoigne under the Mental Health Act. They haven’t had to do that since “Bestie” died. The […]

Not English

Just back from lunch watching the first half of Villa versus Newcastle at my local. (Joey Barton is a dirty…) I live dahn Sarf now so there were about five people apart from me interested in the Midlands against the North-East dotted around the fairly large TV room. In walks a big black Senegalese bloke […]

Christmas Cuteness On Film

On Christmas Day, I posted a quick snap of my niece and nephew taken with my new freebie digital camera. I’ve just got some scans of developed film back from the lab so I can share a few steam-powered Christmas photos with you. Here’s Sam playing with one of his new remote-controlled dinosaurs: Sam and […]

Tennis/Racket

I was so uncool at university that I only made it to the periphery of a gang of sad scientists. One full member of the group could play immaculate air drums. I think he might have owned a small drum kit at some point, but he wasn’t a drummer. He’d sit on a chair in […]

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