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Which of this month’s begging letters from my almae matres more rapidly and effectively earned its place in my bin?

Was it the one from Oxford University that began:

Dear Mr Counsell

Today the defining struggle in the world is between relentless growth and the potential for collaboration.

which, if it means anything at all, is cobblers?

Or was it the one from Imperial College that began:

Dear [DO NOT USE - Temp Salutation],

Insert your content here

?

It’s a question worthy of our finest minds.

UPDATE: Today (11Aug10), I received an email from Imperial that began:

Dear Mr Counsell,

If you spotted our email of Monday 9 August, we’re sure it didn’t escape your attention that it lacked the lucidity that we hope you would normally expect of us. We would like to apologise for the mistake and thank those of you who have responded asking us to “<insert content here>”.

5 Comments

  1. Morgan
    Posted 12Aug10 at 17:20 | Permalink

    Who put their name to that Oxford letter?

  2. Posted 12Aug10 at 17:28 | Permalink

    The university’s esteemed Vice-Chancellor, Andrew Hamilton (formerly Benjamin Silliman Professor of Chemistry)—he throws a verb to the wind and gets gloriously Blairish later:

    We are becoming one world. Our world. The University of Oxford is a leader in thinking, envisaging and shaping this world through academic endeavour, interdisciplinary excellence and distinctive teaching.

    What, no Oxford comma?

  3. Posted 16Aug10 at 12:44 | Permalink

    Yeah, I got that Oxford one a little while ago and despaired. The man sounds like he’s on day release from Comment is free…

  4. Morgan
    Posted 19Aug10 at 07:15 | Permalink

    You’d think they’d do a better job of fundraising given the alumni from both Unis currently in top posts in marketing. But I suspect it’s a tough sell to dons used to coming up with their own ideas rather than taking professional advice.

  5. dearieme
    Posted 28Sep10 at 19:31 | Permalink

    We would like to apologise”: well fucking do so, then.

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