But I would love to see Russell Brand disembowel himself on live TV. Or, even better, a live suicide bombing of the Daily Mail’s offices - then he’d die a hero.

There’s still a bit of that on Radio 2. I know because on a weekday at 6:30pm it’s often a choice of that or a Radio 4 comedy. I generally opt for the Cab Calloway and Glenn Miller.

Perhaps, as a gesture of mercy from the Daily Mail readers, Ross could have been allowed to perform the finishing dakikubi.

P.

But, but, but he’s resigned only from a little teeny-weeny bit of his job; a part that made him a mere two hundred grand or so a year.To be comparable with a resigning politician he would have had to have given up his entire meeja career.

If a Minister gets caught doing wrong as a Minister then he should resign from his Cabinet job, not from his position as a constituency MP or, for example, from his six-days-a-year directorship of Amalgamated Widgets.

After a half-hearted mumbled apology he asserted that the messages he and his chum had left had been “really very, very funny” which was clearly untrue.

I’m with you there. His first “apology” was nothing of the sort.

Thing I can’t understand is why Wireless Two (aka the Light Programme) is trying to attract yoof.

Don’t get me started on that. I date the decline and fall of civilization from the dismissal of “Smashie and Nicey” from Radio One. Now Armageddon is upon us, as Radio Two has realized that hundreds of thousands of The Young People have migrated to a place where they don’t have to listen to landfill indie and coke-addled late-thirtysomethings pretending they are still down wiv the kids.

Thing I can’t understand is why Wireless Two (aka the Light Programme) is trying to attract yoof. Bring back ‘Sing Something Simple’—Cliff Adams and The Adams Singers never said sorry to no one….

I think you’re being uncharacteristically gentle here (apart from the last sentence, which I think is about the sum of it).

Uh-oh. Maybe I’m getting soft in my old age. Thing is, I’m trying to take Brand at his word. The last bit is perhaps my usual cynicism breaking through.

Not my idea of taking full responsibility.

Well, the guy does indeed say at one point “I take complete and utter [sic] responsibility” and he does, in fact, resign, and he has, in fact, apologized directly to Sachs. Short of unshagging the man’s granddaughter it’s difficult to see how much more responsibility he could take. Again, I am assuming that Brand is being sincere, but those two things: expressing his remorse unequivocally and forfeiting his job promptly lift him above, for example, most politicians caught red-handed with a naked intern/brown envelope full of fifties/dodgy oligarch/signed copy of The Protocols.

Not my idea of taking full responsibility. On the other hand you could have fun writing “taking full responsibility” apologies in this Brand style for Jonathan Aitken, John Prescott, Richard Nixon, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad……..