March 2008

It’s That Time Of Year

The last time I made an offer like this here it was very useful for me so I’m going to do it again. Before the wedding season starts in earnest, I’d like to experiment a bit with some new techniques on non-paying jobs (and burn up a few rolls of out-of-date and unusual film). If […]

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Bear With A Big Head

KNUT the polar bear has turned from a cuddly cub into a publicity-addicted psycho, one of his keepers has claimed. Markus Roebke said Berlin Zoo’s celebrity animal was obsessed with the limelight and howled with rage when denied an audience. “Knut must go and the sooner the better,” he said, insisting that the bear should […]

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NUTters

Every year the National Union of Teachers conference can be counted on for some beyond-parody educationalist nonsense. I enjoyed this one today from the BBC News site. As part of the perennial moan that children are being tested too much an NUT delegate worried that: Even nursery-age children were being taught to spell and write […]

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Future News: Headlines Of 2108

NASA ASTRONAUTS ARRIVE ON CENTAURI IV AND ENCOUNTER POPULATION OF HUMANOIDS SO PRIMITIVE THAT THEY STILL HAVE FACEBOOK ACCOUNTS. PANEL OF HISTORIANS VOTES ON MOST HATED FIGURES OF 21ST CENTURY. SADDAM HUSSEIN, CLONED HITLER, HEATHER MILLS-MCCARTNEY TOP POLL. HUMPHREY LYTTELTON FORCED TO STAND DOWN AS PRESENTER OF I’M SORRY I HAVEN’T A CLUE AFTER EXPOSURE […]

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Clarification

Given the trouble a certain blogger found himself in for announcing Margaret Thatcher’s death prematurely, I should point out that I wrote my previous post about her before the ex-PM’s hospitalization hit the headlines. Regulars know I’m not a fan of hers, but I don’t wish her dead and I’m not going to take any […]

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Maggie Out

While I’m on the subject of Tories, this evening, I finally got round to watching the second part of the very good Michael Portillo documentary about Thatcher and the Conservative Party (The Lady’s Not For Spurning) that I downloaded from the BBC’s excellent iPlayer site. I put it off for so long because I was […]

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Parallel Lives

It’s all over for the ‘Head On the front page of The Spectator online, Fraser Nelson suggests that David Cameron could be “the British [Barack] Obama“, which struck me as a coincidence, because I am the British Gore Vidal.

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King’s English

Burger King’s slogan “HAVE IT YOUR WAY™” really is a Registered Trade Mark. Luckily for those looking for a similar marketing gem to promote their products or services, “IT’S YOUR FUNERAL” and “SUIT YOURSELF” are still available.

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