Monthly Archives: April 2007

Attack Of The Man-Eating Stick Insects

It seems my former employers have funded research into an amazing new drug: Scientists are developing a pill which could boost women’s libido and reduce their appetite. The hormone-releasing pill has so far only been given to female monkeys and shrews who displayed more mating behaviour and ate less. The team from the Medical Research […]

Busharat The Omnipresent

Tim “Bloggerheads” Ireland uses the exciting new medium of citizen video to put the boot into a Labour candidate and gives me the biggest laugh I’ve had all week.

Blog Bait

Please tell me this article is a parody, aimed at luring bloggers into making mocking fools of themselves. The suspiciously named “Sebastian Cresswell-Turner” complains at length that his middle-class peers aren’t as rich as members of their parents’ generation and have to do shocking things like live in Battersea or send their children to state schools. […]

Let Them Eat Cake

Earlier this week, I was walking down the road with a couple of bags of Labour Party leaflets when a woman from a drugs project approached me with a clipboard. She asked me lots of questions about drug-related crime and drug-related violence and drug crime policing; she even asked me if I had a drink […]

And It’s Goodnight From Them

[This post should have gone up as Private. It is now.]

Scissored Sisters

The official name for the place where I live is “Brighton & Hove”. A friend of mine was recently asked at interview to characterize the difference between Brighton and her non-identical Siamese twin town and came up with something along the lines of Hove being a respectable older aunt and Brighton a wayward younger sister. […]

Unrepresentative Sampling

Not owning a television receiver, being an off-peak gym member, and having friends and relatives with small children, I consume TV in odd ways. I rarely watch the box on purpose, and when I do it’s usually breakfast, daytime, and/or children’s TV. Yesterday morning, as I stretched on a mat, I read the caption on […]


YESTERDAY EVENING: I’m outside the House of Commons with Bloggers4Labour supremo Andrew Regan, his sister, and another friend. We’re on our way to Andrew’s [very successful as it happened] Labour blogging meeting in one of the Commons committee rooms. As you’d expect in these Times Of Terror, every visitor gets scanned and searched. Naturally, I […]

Week Off

I’ll leave the comments facility on, but I won’t be writing much here over the next few days.

Collaborators And Fighters

Internet old-timers are not necessarily more polite than newcomers. They do, however, tend to know the rules, sometimes as a result of having been slapped down more than once by even-older-timers. Beginners in online communication often don’t even realise there are any rules at all. Hardcore open source geeks, for example, that is people who […]

Great White Hoop

Honky takes revenge for Tiger Woods.

Kissin’ in The Back Row

[Black screen. The members of a US “indie” band attempt vainly to hide their highly practised musicianship as they perform a song about balloons called “A Song About Balloons“.] MOVIE TRAILER VOICEOVER: You’ve had a hard week at work. All you want is to do is slump in front of a DVD in which Bruce […]

Oxfam Report Supports UK Humanitarian Intervention

This is a surprise: The UK must not shy away from trying to resolve international crises despite the “terrible misadventure” in Iraq, a report from charity Oxfam argues.

This Space Intentionally Blank

I read a report in the Telegraph that provoked me to write something that was, by my standards, a steaming rant. Then I decided to check the details with the BBC Website’s version of events. This gave the story a completely different tilt so I spiked my blog post. I’m too busy to write a […]

If This Is The Answer…

They call themselves “Paramount Vehicle Solutions“, perhaps because the vehicles they sell are seen by some as a solution to the problem of having a small penis, but would you hand over seventy thousand pounds to someone who thinks the plural of “Aston Martin” is “Aston Martin’s”?

Hamiltonian Flow

Tom Hamilton’s blogging has been particularly good lately, ranging from the Devil’s Chaplain to the Devil’s Kitchen. I recommend his excellent posts about Richard Dawkins—oldie and goodie—and his fine, if less taxing, fisking of the most superfluous blog in existence not written by someone called Brittany: hoisting out the middle wicket and scooping up an […]

Love Over Gold

Somewhere in a box I have a copy of Dire Straits’ Love Over Gold on cassette. I bought it when I was a kid and listened to it on the Sony boombox that I won when I was thirteen in a competition to come up with a new advertising slogan for Pot Noodle™. Dire Straits’ […]

Citizen Ghale

My dad has long been associated, as a member and officer, with the largest UK teaching union, the NAS/UWT. Indeed, in classic working-class northerner style, he first had a heart attack as he arrived at a union conference. Equally typically, after it was initially misdiagnosed by a junior doctor as a digestive problem, he just […]

Hands Across The Ocean

Hi, Knut. Jerry here. Yeah, I’m afraid it is kinda bad news again. Look, I gotta be honest with you: Pixar have nixed the whole project. No, it wasn’t your fee—though I gotta say they thought the spec you were demanding for your Winnebago was, er, “unusual”. You really wanna know? Hey, don’t take this […]

Snapshots From My Glamorous Life

Last week, I noticed a registered Brighton & Hove taxi parked outside the Muslim community centre. Prominent on the dashboard was a hardback copy of Richard Dawkins’ The God Delusion. A couple of days later I saw the car (and the book) again. This time the vehicle was being attended to by two of B&H’s […]

I’m Typing This At Three O’Clock In The Morning…

…because I stupidly fried my archiving PC on Sunday evening: melted plastic, smoke, the works. I’m boring about these things so I lost no data, but I did lose too many hours to re-building and re-configuring hardware and software and restoring files. And now I’ve just rounded the tedium off by fishing the last couple […]