Ten products routinely used in ways which expressly contradict their accompanying instructions or break English law:

• cotton wool buds—“Do not insert into the ear canal…”
• King-Size Rizla cigarette papers—did you know that the green Rizla papers with the corners cut off are for blind smokers?
• blank CD-Rs—“Obtain the permission of the copyright holder…”
• phallic vibrating neck massagers—“For those difficult to reach spots…”
• Ferrari motor vehicles—“My wife is in labour, officer…”
• photocopiers and scanners—“Obtain the permission of the copyright holder…”
• Marvel milk granules—-this is one for the lab rats in the audience; trust us, they are a vital scientific tool
• Better Sex education videos—“For loving couples…”
• electric kettles—the words “Do Not Overfill” have no meaning to mothers
• methylated spirits—for when Thunderbird is beyond your budget