Further to one of my shortest and most cited posts, if you don’t mind having Return of the Sith spoiled [hah!], the frankly strange Mike Doughty explains that, because Darth Vader is black, you must trust your feelings and know that he is your father. Mike was an amazingly prescient child: “I have this interesting […]
Read MoreSeptember 2005
Choice Quotes
Glenn McGrath: “I think I was saying 3-0 or 4-0 about 12 months ago, thinking there might be a bit of rain around. But with the weather as it is at the moment, I have to say 5-0.” Jeff Thomson: “England will lose the five-Test series 3-0 and the margin will be worse for them […]
Read MoreThey May Take Away Our Lives, But They’ll Never Take… Our PIE CHARTS!
Mark A Rayner at the skwib has found William Wallace’s long lost USB stick of PowerPoint presentations. Here are those crucial Battle of Sterling Bridge bullet points: We smell like crap We can’t read We’re covered in woad Time to kick some ass!
Read MorePerhaps A Subscription-Only Service?
You think the stuff I put up here is crap? Behind the login page of PooterGeek there are now about one hundred and thirty unpublished posts. Some of them are funny. Many of them are cruel or in bad taste. Some of them aren’t cruel enough. I mean, what kind of satire could I create […]
Read MoreFashion It Is Then
Remember when they used to do stories about falling sales at Marks and Spencer, when they still didn’t take credit cards? Today it’s a story about falling profits at French Connection, whose Website won’t allow you to look at anything at all unless you have Flash installed. Once you have Flash installed then you can […]
Read MoreThe Last Time England Had The Ashes…
…Tony Blair had a mullet.
Read MoreAnd So It Ends
A coloured guy, a lesbian, and a Jew settle down to enjoy a game of cricket… Before the great battle begins today I must remind you of what is at stake, not merely a century-old sporting trophy, but the pride of the English-speaking ‘Blogging world. …And the coloured guy says to the lesbian: This is […]
Read MoreGSOH
[Before you read the article I link to below, those of you not up with geeky three letter acronyms need to know that “IRC” stands for “Internet Relay Chat”, which is like Microsoft Messenger for the sort of people who build their own PCs.] Related to the “people you wish you didn’t fancy” thread (which […]
Read MoreNo One Would Have Believed…
Watch the red weed of PooterGeekers spread across the whole planet. Thanks to these guys I’ve been a beta-tester for the Clustrmap hit-tracking system for the last couple of days. I have ten invites that I can send to anyone else on the Web who would like to know where their visitors live. One is […]
Read MoreThe Loneliness Of The Long-Distance ‘Blogger
Late this morning: I’m out for a run when I overtake Leasey and companion as they stroll past one of the haunts of Cambridge’s surreal inner-city cow population. I pause long enough in my exertions for Leasey to give me a hug and tell me that she needs to take me shopping for some new […]
Read MoreRecycling In London
He’s a slippery git, but Judy has her eye on him.
Read MoreWhen I Lived In Modish Times
There are debates going on at Eric The Unread’s and at Harry’s Place about which of three of Eric’s teenage badges he should be most embarrassed about: Marillion, Lenin, or Greenpeace. This is indeed a question worthy of discussion. Amusingly, of the three corresponding Wikipedia entries I link to, only the Marillion one is undisputed. […]
Read MoreEmbarrassed And Mystified
If you want to comment on this post you must provide the name of one person you fancy but wish you didn’t and one person who other people fancy, but you can’t understand why. My pair (in translucent tops and in that order) are Trinny Woodall: and Colin Firth: Any pertinent bitching is also welcome.
Read MoreHer Indoors
Sorry about the thin posting at PooterGeek lately. The crossed keyboards and trousers rampant are flying again over PooterGeek Towers because I am now back in residence, having spent a few days scouting around Brighton for a new place to live, meeting up with collaborators on my next big thing, music making, and generally socialising […]
Read MoreSuppressing Dissent
This lunchtime, Borders bookshop/café/newsagents: having picked up a couple of special offer items, I’m on my way out into the street when I notice the two Georges—“Gorgeous” Galloway and “Moonbat” Monbiot that is—at 20 percent off. As always I have my long-suffering Minolta with me, so I get it out of my rucksack and uncap […]
Read MoreM’nuh M’nuh
The only way to make the Doors listenable: combine them with the Muppets and The Macarena. And a mash-up can even redeem Craig David as well.
Read MoreThe Ultimate Sauce
I think I might become a Pastafarian, oo-arr! Here be an explanation, me hearties!
Read MoreHome Beauty Care
If you’ve got the bandwidth, this sharp computer-animated film from Taiwan is worth the download.
Read MoreWith Apologies To Monty Python
[Dull bell tolls. Ominous music plays. A young man dressed in black, carrying a rucksack and wearing a baseball cap approaches the entrance of a charming extended split-level end-of-terrace in Crouch End. He knocks heavily at the door.] CHARLIE: [answering the door]: Yes? Oh. Right. Have you brought a takeaway? Sorry about that. I should […]
Read MoreI Put A Spell On You
Gaze greenly upon my grammatical geekiness, Pashmina! PooterGeek can now check your comments for spelling mistakes, even as you type. If you want the Dictionary Police to patrol your prose just click on whichever spell-checking option you prefer as it now appears above the Comment box. Be patient. They take a little while to process […]
Read MoreBlamestorm
There’s been some interesting debate on the ‘Blogs I read about the slinging around of blame in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. Before hosting a more-heat-than-light comment scrap, Harry’s Place has posted a couple of extended contributions from readers, one broadly critical, one trying to put events in context. Yesterday Norm drew attention to a […]
Read MoreI Want To Work For World Peace
Further to my comment about the relative earnings of Whites and ethnic minorities in this country, I should admit that, not only were four out of the forty entrants in this year’s Miss England Muslims, but, of them, the winner herself was born in Tashkent of Afghan parents who fled Afghanistan in 1980. The favourite […]
Read MoreSays It All
Who Knew? has a telling post. Imagine: you have invested your life savings in a multinational corporation, who would you choose to run, respectively, its US and UK arms: Bill Clinton and Tony Blair or George W Bush and John Major? Whatever happened to the Right’s ability just to manage serious stuff competently?
Read MoreJordan: The Comeback
My mother always taught me that reading books would help me to get on in life*. You only have to look at my dazzling career to see how right she was. (Funnily enough, people in my old job looked at me like I was stupid because I refused to cite a source without actually plodding […]
Read More“Poo” By Name
I am told by PooterGeekers, including the currently-one-armed Hot Wheels Helena, that they come here by typing “poo” into their Web browsers and letting auto-complete do the rest. Be careful that the rest of the URL is filled in before you hit “Return” or, like Hot Wheels, you are likely to find yourself at the […]
Read MoreLondon Moon Unit Zowie Fifi Trixibelle Brooklyn Spears Preston Snr
Britney’s first-born could be called “London Preston”, but will be known as “M6” to all his friends. [I love that Wikipedia has a page devoted to the M6. Wikimedia: harnessing the power of Asperger’s syndrome since 2000 AD. Did you know that the entry about Coronation Street used to be twice as long as the […]
Read More“All my pain is because we are not together…”
There isn’t actually a scene depicting a gamine brunette whizzing past a Parisian landmark on a moped, but, if this trailer is anything to go by, scientists at an Israeli biotech firm have finally succeeded in cloning all the other clichés of self-conscious art house French cinema.
Read MoreBritish Broadcasting Corporation Disappears Up Own Arse
On the BBC News Website you can find this transcript of BBC Radio 5’s interview with the BBC’s new political editor Nick Robinson. Put out of your mind this dizzying circularity to marvel at the content of the discussion. Robinson is particularly strong on the attributes that mark out a great political journalist: “Yes, John […]
Read MoreLearning To Talk
File this one under “Amazing If True”: “Cornell University and Tel Aviv University researchers have developed a method for enabling a computer program to scan text in any of a number of languages, including English and Chinese, and autonomously and without previous information infer the underlying rules of grammar. The rules can then be used […]
Read MoreThe Chav Hunter
I have observed before that Cambridge has Goths like other cities have pigeons. Thanks to The Guardian online (in turn thanks to Pashmina in her comment at Quinquireme), I have discovered what they get up to in the summer months: shooting townies.
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