Monthly Archives: August 2005

Luvverly Links

Since I last mentioned her work Gloria Salt has moved to a new home at her own domain. Thanks to the alphabet she goes almost to the top of the PooterGeek ‘Blogroll. The new banner for her ‘Blog “Apropos Of Nothing” carries a nice big photo of her face too, which could quite reasonably be […]

Cruelty To Animals

I have mentioned the wacky “campaigning windows” of Cambridge residents before. Today I walked past one that had a picture of a Labrador on display, with the caption “Liberate Laboratory Animals!” Also today I read this story: “Animal rights activists have stolen six huntaway dogs from a Massey University farm, some of which are carrying […]

Lucky, Lucky Bastards

That’s the trouble with Test Match Special: evocative commentary, unintentional innuendo, amusing anecdotes about furry-costumed Test Match attendees, bizarre guests (Bobby Charlton—what was that about?), occasionally slightly bonkers contributions from actual cricketers, but never searing analysis like that offered by Aussie Tony T at After Grog Blog: “Well, that’s it then, The Ashes are gone. Time […]

How To Be Top

I found this via Jackie’s furl stash [via James Hamilton]. It’s advice from a successful ‘Blogger on how to get new readers. She happens to be an illegal New York lap dancer who’s dating a British socialite. Next week: advice to struggling media studies graduates on how to get into the competitive business of TV […]

Never Mind, Chaps, There’s Always A Chance Of Rain, What?!

Visiting Australian tourists consider volunteering to stand in for the guinea pigs: “Flintoff brought up his 50 with a six off Shane Warne and hit debutant Shaun Tait for three fours in one over.” Like this:Like Loading…

The BBC: “out of their zionism-enfeebled minds” or “Blind Barking Chowderheads”?

Susurration has been quiet for yonks, but the proprietor’s back comparing the reactions of two different ‘Blogs to the infamous “burning flag of Israel” photo illustrating the Corporation’s reports on the Gaza withdrawal. Like this:Like Loading…

Bunny Update

It’s Friday, so I’m not looking to revive that old argument about the stationery, but I thought you lot might be amused by my two Playboy-related observations of the week. Firstly I was in an ASDA supermarket the other day and decided to survey their “Back To School” range. Hoping not to be denounced as […]

Men Better At IQ Tests Than Women

Two men dumb enough to think it makes them smarter: “Academics in the UK claim their research shows that men are more intelligent than women. A study to be published later this year in the British Journal of Psychology says that men are on average five points ahead on IQ tests. Paul Irwing and Professor […]

Two Blogs On Cricket

normblog quoting C L R James: “[T]he bowler v batsman confrontation “reproduces the central action which characterises all good drama from the days of the Greeks to our own: two individuals pitted against each other in a conflict that is strictly personal but no less representative of a social group.” wongaBlog watching the game being […]

The Dog Ate My Homework

Nothing new from me today, sorry, but here’s an excellent post from Eric the Unread, more superb work from David T at Harry’s Place, and a kind apology from Gendergeek. Emma is also worth reading on women and consumer geekery—not that I agree with everything she says, mind. Maybe I should buy a house after […]

Could Have Been A Contender

I received an email from Labour East High Command today. It was to remind me that we are currently running the “Annual John Prescott Membership Challenge”. I’ve weighed the matter and I think I’ll reply saying that, yes, on balance we should let him stay in the Party. Like this:Like Loading…

How’m Ah Lookin’?

The upgrade is supposedly complete. Readers, PooterGeek should now be more relaxed about letting you (and me) contribute to the conversation and less likely to accuse you of being a dirty spammer. Please let me know if anything strange happens when you browse or comment here—however trivial it might seem to you. Fellow ‘Bloggers, PooterGeek […]

Salt On The Wounds

In the absence of anything of substance from me today, I recommend a new Israeli-American ‘Blog: Apropos Of Nothing. It has already featured thoughtful and much-commented-upon posts about what happens after the Israeli withdrawal from Gaza and about what’s going on inside Sharon’s head. Today, proprietor Gloria Salt writes about what it’s like to be […]

What A Way To Treat An Audience

Thank you for your kind messages of support! Declaring my intentions to the World will, I hope, reduce the likelihood that I spend my new-found riches on Colombian nose powder and dancing girls. Now I must warn you that later today things will probably get a bit strange around here later as I upgrade and […]

Piano Man “A Bit Crap” Shocker

Well I never. The media have been taken for a ride: “[The Mirror] says that he has now returned to Germany, where he has two sisters and his father owns a farm. “And, in a final revelation which will forever shatter the enigma of a man often compared to the pianist David Helfgott whose battles […]

What Damian Did Next

Some weeks ago I promised you, dear PooterGeekers, that I would be telling you what I planned to do with my life now that the Medical Research Council no longer has need of my services. Those of you who come here for the trouser jokes can stop reading now. The rest of you might be […]


Jane Little of the BBC reports somewhat mischievously from Pope Benedict XVI’s visit to World Youth Day in Cologne, Germany. She describes the event as “a huge Catholic Woodstock”. This snippet is particularly naughty: “Tobias Raschke, a curly-haired, fresh-faced 26-year-old was handing out postcards in support of condoms. ‘The Pope does not get it,’ he […]

Nigella Lawson’s Diary

9 August 2005 visits to PooterGeek: 12—v. good / silent phonecalls to D: 50—poor [caught out once and pretend to be Indian call centre operative; not v. convincing I fear] How much longer can I go on living this lie? To the world I am their Domestic Goddess. To Charles I am his true love, […]

Zen And The Art Of Restaurant Management

There are about fifty seats at the greasy spoon at which I, ahem, partake of brunch of a Saturday morning. When I am there I always dine in the No Smoking Area. This consists in its entirety of my two-seat corner table, the only one with a “No Smoking” sign on it. Like this:Like Loading…


I watched The Interpreter on DVD the other evening. It was disappointing like going to the London theatre: excellent actors and highly accomplished technicians bringing to life a script that fancies itself intelligent and deep, but is daft and glib. One of the stars, Nicole Kidman, is currently plugging what is apparently another poor career […]

Dinosaurs Disturbed By Sight Of Young Female Tree Shrews Laying Down Mammary Fat

When I was in my mid teens, one of my sister’s (underage) friends snuck into my bedroom and saw me jerking off. Years later, when visiting from Oxford, I was approached in the street by two girls I didn’t recognize. They asked me if I was The One Who Masturbated. Yes, PooterGeekers, I am possibly […]

Walken For President

AYATOLLAH KHAMENEI is man-handled into his office. Waiting for him are four associates, standing: CONDOLEEZZA, RUMSFELD (an old Wise-guy), VICE-PRESIDENT SCHWARZENEGGER, and BRITISH PRIME MINISTER BOB HOSKINS (a fireplug pitbull type). PRESIDENT WALKEN sits in KHAMENEI’s recliner KHAMENEI is knocked to his knees. He looks up to see a smiling WALKEN. They pick him up […]

The Corruption Of Innocent Girls By Permissive American “Culture” Continues

I don’t want to upset Harry any more than he is already, but I think people should be told about this godless decadence. [click to enlarge] It’s that animalistic Negro beat music, I tell ya. The next thing you know there’ll be blacks and whites lying down together in the same bed. UPDATE: Seriously, I […]

Evangelical Scientist Refutes Gravity, Sequences Human Genome

“Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, ‘God’ if you will, is pushing them down,” said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University. The funny thing about this Onion story, is that the made-up fundamentalist “scientist” quoted […]

Bunny How Things Change

There’s a lost-innocence-of-our-children panic piece in the G2 section of yesterday’s Guardian. Rachel Bell asks “what’s going on?” that Playboy-branded stationery and other accessories are number one with little schoolgirls in Britain. The right sort of people are quoted telling us what to think, alongside someone from commerce telling us that the people he represents […]

Multi-Dimensional Pleasure

I’m not just writing this because she was so nice about me yesterday in her Normblog profile, but Pashmina really is on a roll at The Grammatical Puss. Her Austen-pastiche preview of the latest adaptation of Pride And Prejudice is quite the most pleasing thing I have read all week. [Keira Knightley as Elizabeth Bennet? […]


I occasionally use a cheap-and-cheerful piece of computer music software called “FLStudio“. Its publishers changed the package’s name from “FruityLoops” a few years ago. Today was the first time I read the explanation for the name change given on the Website of Image-Line Software, the German company that produces FLStudio. The company offers three reasons: […]

Brooke Brothers

The estimable Michael Brooke is back with a thorough review of Boris Gudunov at Covent Garden. You’ve got admire a man who can criticise a production of an opera for containing a ludicrous theatrical image. Meanwhile, the other ‘Blogging Brooke is kittenblogging, God help him. [click to enlarge] And just to complete the set: [click […]

Do You Work South Of The Border?

casualsavant sent me this amusing example of shonky pirate DVD translation, which you might have already seen. The same ‘Blog also reproduces this sign from a Mexican restaurant in China, which you might not have: “Zapata’s Mexican Cantina does not sponsor prostitutes at our establishment. If you are a prostitute please refrain from entering our […]

Be Careful What You Wish For

When I was 21 and a singer in a band I dreamt that in my thirties I would be being besieged by feisty female teenage music fans. Ha. Like this:Like Loading…

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