I have to apologise to people expecting reports from the Labour canvassing frontline here. This evening I set off to join our candidate on the streets and got completely lost on the way to the rendezvous point. I promise to tell all when I finally get out there and meet the voters, the bastards. At least I managed to stuff a couple of hundred leaflets through letterboxes this evening instead.

Cambridge is a multilingual city. You can easily hear half a dozen different tongues along the walk from my flat to the centre of town. You can read them too. As I was leafletting today I encountered a little plaque outside one terraced house bearing the words:

“ATTENTION AU CHAT EXCENTRIQUE!”

and a wheelie bin further down the road was daubed with the following in blotchy white paint [apologies for my transcription errors—I have no Spanish at all]:

“POLITE NOTICE: Basurero cabrón Bajate del Puto Camion y Trabaja pro una puta vezentu vida”

Something tells me that there is an inconsistency between the English and the rest. If anyone would like to correct and/or translate this text I think the rest of us might be entertained.