Monthly Archives: April 2005

Get With The Programme, Blogers!

[Guest post by Ros Taylor of The Guardian] So what has the British Blogoball to say about our revelations? Nothing much. Imagine how American blugs like Instapunto would have responded to the news that the fall of the Iraqi government in 2003 was the result, not of an Israeli black-ops mission as many have argued, […]

Darth Pooter

Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith now has his own ‘Blog, “The Darth Side: Memoirs Of A Monster“. The tone of the thing is perfect, a whole new galaxy of bathos: 15Apr05 “It is not the sort of thing people think about, but I do not get many opportunities to see any living world […]

Howard. Again.

Michael Howard 18Jul04: “If I knew then what I know now, that would have caused a difficulty…I couldn’t have voted for that resolution…If you look at the terms of the actual motion put to the House of Commons on March 18 (2003), it placed very heavy emphasis on the presence of weapons of mass destruction […]

Colour Me Surprised

Twistblog makes an interesting observation about the location of Kilroy’s secret headquarters.

Another One Joins The Club

Stumbling and Mumbling makes the ‘Roll. There’ve been some excellent posts there lately. I liked this, this, this and this. I believe in free trade as much the next bug-eyed ‘Blogging loon; I just think that globalization’s boosters aren’t honest about its inevitable downside or the requirement that, for the full benefits to be spread […]

Highbrow Cinema

It’s my mum’s birthday in a few weeks and I am thinking of buying her (and my dad) a handheld DVD player. She won’t watch films on it, but it will be perfect for her and dad to browse through (CDs of) family photos I make for them without their having to heft albums about […]

Staying In Touch With Your Inner Electorate

Even Tony Blair’s biggest enemies have got to admire his willingness to sit in a studio full of publicity-hungry voters and patiently engage with their rants. My head would explode with frustration after five minutes of listening to inarticulate, ignorant, and illogical challenges, but he keeps on doing it. The bigger a fight he has […]

There Are Gods; At Least One Of Them Is A Bastard

I am carrying a red clipboard and wearing a Labour Party sticker on my raincoat (John Rocha, dahling). The four of us have each been canvassing in a ward which will remain anonymous for the rest of this post. We flit from door to door. We pass each other in the cluster of streets that […]

My Old Man’s A Linguist

Keen Spanish speaker Brian emailed with a pretty direct translation of the dustbin message: “Bastard rubbish collector, put the rubbish into the (f*****g) lorry and work like some kind of whore’s life” …or similar. It could be Portuguese though. I don’t recognise a couple of the words. I’ll get working on it! He did (though […]

Are You Spanking Who We’re Spanking?

My current guilty pleasure is ToryScum.com. Highlights of the site include their “Sleazy Lover” match-the-Tory-to-the-scandal competition—answers: Cecil Parkinson—Abandoning an illegitimate child John Major—Adultery Harvey Proctor—Spanking rent boys Ian Harvey—Cavorting with a guardsman Stephen Milligan—Autoerotic asphyxiation —and their marvellous collection of Conservative poster “subvertisements”.

Marxist Mog

I met snappy Hak yesterday in London. She was only really snappy when, for example, a mad Islingtonian bint all but knocked her down, dashing across Upper Street to hail a taxi; otherwise she was a charmer. We had a nice lunch; discussed politics, psychiatry, and property; and fondled the shiny things in the Tottenham […]

Comrades In Arm Rests

I’m adding three more sites to the ‘Blogroll today. First is Bloggers4Labour. This is late, I know, but I’d assumed that I had already installed it. B4L led me to two entertaining sources of nitpickery: Twistblog, which I am going to forgive for being run by the person responsible for Cute Cat Of The Day, […]

Better Than Blue Eyes

Frank Sinatra is in my big book of overrated singers alongside Bob Dylan and Elvis. So it’s all the more surprising that I am about to rave about someone who started his performing career impersonating Presley and Sinatra. On the evidence of his latest album, It’s Time, Michael Bublé is going to be huge. More […]

Shawcross Nails It

Oliver Kamm quotes an admirably restrained letter to The Independent by William Shawcross. Earlier this week I read the original article that prompted the letter and expressed my disgust with it so noisily that I was forced to explain myself to one of the Campus librarians. Unlike the Bodleian, the Sanger library doesn’t require you […]

Online Satirical Magazine Fails To Raise Laughter

Sadly, an Onion article entitled “Fifth Grade Paper Doesn’t Stand Up To Peer Review” reminds me of my actual working life: DECATUR, IL—A three-member panel of 10-year-old Michael Nogroski’s fellow classmates at Nathaniel Macon Elementary School unanimously agreed Tuesday that his 327-word essay “Otters” did not meet the requirements for peer approval. Nogroski presented his […]

Thirtysomething

Hi, Olivia. It’s Damian here. Er, I was wondering if you might be free for lunch on Thursday. We could, um, discuss… “…Sex”? It’s always the same with you professional bachelors, isn’t it? “There’s no ‘I’ in “commitment”—that’s your motto. You think you can breeze in with a pack-of-three and breeze out with bloody fibres […]

Making Your Own Entertainment

Blimey. I’ve been so quiet lately the readers have started to write the spoofs themselves.

Celeb Kneels Before The Power Of The Poot

Since I wrote this post, mithering on about how unattractive I find Kylie Minogue, even when writhing around sweatily on an electric horse dressed in her skimpies, and how this saucy schtick of hers was going to become more embarrassing with her advancing years, there has been a couple of interesting developments. Firstly, one of […]

Garbage In; Garbage Out

I have to apologise to people expecting reports from the Labour canvassing frontline here. This evening I set off to join our candidate on the streets and got completely lost on the way to the rendezvous point. I promise to tell all when I finally get out there and meet the voters, the bastards. At […]

Enlightened At Last

Whodathunkit? As well as being “destructive” and “ecologically catastrophic”, biotechnology is “racist“. I suppose that makes me some kind of sell-out: “This June in Philadelphia, thousands of wealthy capitalists and biological profiteers representing the Biotechnology Industry Organization will convene in Philly to celebrate and promote their dangerous manipulation of life’s very building blocks for private […]

Collective Noun Question

Is it a conclave of cardinals or a cover-up of cardinals? Let’s ask Cormac.

My Straight Trousers

The menswear floor of the Cambridge Grafton branch of Next: Leasey and I are practising low-stress tag team male/female shopping, a mode of consumption made possible by mobile phone technology. At last an end to blokes idling morosely in Monsoon while the women they are browsing with compare a succession of near identical burgundy velvet […]

Men In Suits

Look Over There

Yeah, nothing much to read here at the moment, I know, but Rummaging is on a roll. Check out “Himmler Action Figure. Gay Interest?” and “The best staff profiles ever“—outstanding weirdness.

Your Momma

A PooterGeeker wrote to ask how she could take part in the Genographic Project. The answer is here, though some of us “in the business” might get a little bit sniffy at the idea of a human sample group that is not only partly self-selecting, but includes people who’ve paid to be experimental subjects. Of […]

Geeks Resurrect Gould

Perhaps you have heard those George Gershwin player piano recordings, rendered from rolls of his original performances. Much as I admire Gershwin, his showy, overworked playing hasn’t, to my ears, dated well, even when recreated live by modern human mimics who are a more sensitive to contemporary tastes. It’s like listening to a blousey old […]

Seeing Paris The Hard Way

Congratulations to Claire on completing her first marathon!

That Labour Party Election Broadcast In Full

[Tony Blair and Gordon Brown face each other in painfully close proximity, like an Alas Smith And Jones head-to-head. A clumsily applied blurring effect is intended to shift our attention from one part of the frame to the other as they take turns to speak. This also keeps the pile of dirty Blair household laundry […]

Suicide Watch

Here’s a couple from booklover Judith. Firstly, the first line of Amazon’s first editorial review of Robert Crais’s thriller Hostage: “Robert Crais is the real thing: a writer who keeps topping himself…” Secondly, she’s found a celebrity chef who just might displace Nigella in my dreams.

Loathsome

Anyone on the Left who thinks it might be “instructive” for Labour under Tony Blair to suffer a reduced majority and who fancies some protest voting (or, indeed, protest abstaining) needs to reflect on Michael Howard’s re-launch of the Conservative election campaign yesterday. Howard, the Jewish son of Romanian refugees from the Nazis, wants to […]