Read all abaht it! I’m fuming,’ said the 21-year-old. ‘I sat there with a fleshcoloured bikini on and they have air-brushed the whole thing out. ‘That’s not my belly button. I’ve got a sticky out belly button and it’s pierced,’ she added. ‘They’re not my boobs either.’ Ellison, currently starring in the film version of […]
Read MoreDecember 2004
22Dec04 — 0
Tales From The Pride/Embarrassment Border
As if timed to illustrate my entry two days ago, the Jerusalem Post reports an update in a story Judith has been following from her home within the Zionist Entity. She wrote to me at the end of November expressing her discomfort, even as a very close friend of Israel (and a Jewish one at […]
Read More21Dec04 — 8
Four-Wheel Driven
If the worst came to the worst, you would, of course, stamp on the head of that annoyingly talented and inquisitive Pakistani girl who helps her mother out in the local corner shop, but luckily you don’t have to resort to direct violence to keep the little oik out of those places at Oxbridge you […]
Read More21Dec04 — 1
Odd Man Out
In case anyone was wondering, I did not have sexual relations with that woman.
Read More21Dec04 — 5
Cutting Back On Intelligence Spending
xXx: he’s meant to be the USA’s hip-and-happening answer to Britain’s 007. Problem is, you can’t afford Vin Diesel for the sequel and you’ve blown most of the budget on Samuel L Jackson, Willem Defoe, and exploding helicopters. So who do you get to play the last hope of freedom and democracy? A short, fat, […]
Read More20Dec04 — 1
Gap In The Market
Why can’t I get a button for my ‘Blog saying “I’m An Embarrassed Friend Of Israel“? “Yeah, this is that ‘Izzie’ you’ve heard so much about. You must understand that most of the stories just aren’t true. I’m sorry she has to carry the semi-automatic and the bowie knife everywhere. And the thermonuclear handbag. And […]
Read More20Dec04 — 2
In The Ghetto
As you probably know if you are a regular, I live off the Mill Road, Cambridge’s ethnic strip. I do so not out of solidarity with the city’s immigrant population nor as some kind of fashion statement. I would much rather be in one of the areas where the rich white people live, but I […]
Read More20Dec04 — 0
Strange Potency
At number 15 in the UK singles chart the United Uniting Nations are “Out of Touch”.
Read More19Dec04 — 1
American Arthouse
Hi, I’m on the set of Meet The Underwater Smoking Tanngoliabees with director, Hiram Czeapli. Hiram, there’s already a tremendous buzz about this star-studded, sprawling ensemble piece. Perhaps you could tell us why this of all your works has attracted so much pre-release media attention. Well, although The Smoking Tanngoliabees has a lot in common […]
Read More18Dec04 — 1
More Haste; Less Speed
The last couple of days’ entries have been so full of typos that readers have actually been emailing in corrections. Thank you to Hak Mao and casualsavant for spotting some of them and my dad for having the restraint to let me correct most of them before getting out his red marking pen online.
Read More18Dec04 — 0
And So Farewell, David
From “The Tragedy of David Blunkett” in today’s Economist: “the British have lost their primness about sex, but they still hate a queue-jumper” Whatever you think of his policies, you have to feel something for the poor man. If you were choosing how your career was to end would you prefer it being: supported to […]
Read More17Dec04 — 3
Nah
All my numbers have dropped lately because I have been posting less frequently and I know my US reader numbers have been in particular decline, but, for those of you still left, the topic for discussion today is: Hillary Clinton—could she really be the next president of the United States of America?
Read More17Dec04 — 7
Yes, But
Yes, it’s bad there, but what about North Korea? Yes, he’s an evil dictator, but the Americans will be even worse. Yes, they’ll overthrow him, but what about the humanitarian disaster that will inevitably follow? Yes, democracy’s all very well in theory, but those people aren’t ready for it yet. Yes, they chopped off his […]
Read More17Dec04 — 9
No
It takes a professional philosopher to choose, of all the arguments for the existence of some kind of god, the most exquisitely wrong: “A philosophy professor who has been a leading proponent of atheism for more than 50 years has decided that God may exist after all. “Antony Flew, 81, now believes scientific evidence supports […]
Read More16Dec04 — 0
Multiplication
The nerds at Slashdot have been discussing the book Mathematics and Sex by Australian mathematician Clio Cresswell. She was once voted one of the 25 most beautiful people in Australia. For a mathematician she’s pretty fine [large jpg], but for a cookery writer she’s no great shakes. Amongst other gems, the book applies insights gained […]
Read More16Dec04 — 0
Random Jottings
I am pulling out of the Genome Campus when I notice the car in front of me has a registration which is just a couple of characters away from spelling out “deontic”. First I think, “A near miss like that’s a bit of a shame.” Then I think, “Yeah, but what is the size of […]
Read More16Dec04 — 0
Tally Ho!
Also from Slashdot I note that the planned advertisements for the superb open source Firefox Web browser have appeared. The ads depict the Firefox logo, a giant fox encircling the globe. This monster is the combined result of Tony Blair’s ban on hunting with dogs and his authorization of the release of GM organisms into […]
Read More16Dec04 — 1
Magically Correct
Recently I expressed some concern at the look of the new film adaptations of the Earthsea novels by Ursula Le Guin. She’s not a happy bunny either, as she explains at Slate, under the title “Whitewashed: Earthsea How the Sci Fi Channel wrecked my books“.
Read More16Dec04 — 1
Obscene Publications
Have you got any hardcore? Y’know: Naomi Does Najaf? No, sir. Maybe some stuff with, er, children? Like the Pilger one in the paediatrics wards or that Moore one with the kids flying kites? I’m afraid not. I bet you like a bit of amateur, though, dontcha? You must have “The Best of After Hours […]
Read More14Dec04 — 0
The Joys Of Blogging
Sorry for the thin posting here lately. I have a lot of music-making and Christmas socializing going on. As if to shame me, a PooterGeeker I’ve never met before read my Amazon wishlist [over there ->], noticed that one of the books on it was no longer available to buy new, and sent me an […]
Read More13Dec04 — 2
Cheers!
I long for the day when there is no longer any hiding place for the bastards—instead of a vast system of “international” “law” to shelter their fiefdoms from reason, liberty, mercy, fairness, and universal suffrage. In the meantime, let’s raise a glass to the continued imprisonment of these guys [do you think their “snacks” include […]
Read More12Dec04 — 0
It Was Something He Ate
It was confirmed yesterday that the recent striking changes in the appearance of Tony Blair are indeed the result of poisoning. Sources close to Mr Blair have suggested that the poison may have been administered during a dinner with Prime Minister-elect Gordon Brown at the north London restaurant Granita. Tony Blair, before and after
Read More11Dec04 — 0
Get With The Program
Ringing people from your mobile on public transport to tell them “I’m on the train” is so nineties. Now you email people and tell them “I’m on my mobile”. Thank you, Anthony. I’m on my Linux box. You’re back on the ‘Blogroll.
Read More11Dec04 — 0
The Rightful Winner Of The Turner Prize
As if to prove that not everything about post-modernism is bad, I have stumbled upon something that all but defines the term as applied to the arts. I sincerely hope that you have Java on your computer so that you too can experience Pac Mondrian. [For those of you who haven’t got Java installed you […]
Read More10Dec04 — 1
Thank You
It’s a shame that casualsavant didn’t send me The Metrosexual Guide sooner. The chapter on sex in particular has been a revelation. I understand now, for example, where I went wrong with that Canadian girl who told me she was “really into” Ralph Fiennes: “Uniforms and situations involving authority figures can be fun, though it’s […]
Read More10Dec04 — 4
Let The Bridge-Burning Begin
I discovered this week that a man for whom I have immense professional admiration possesses a comb-over of apocalyptic awfulness. It is not so much a hairstyle as a standing test of his subordinates’ loyalty; an oxbow lake of glossy, hypnotising vanity skirting the rear of his polished head as if in mocking apposition to […]
Read More09Dec04 — 7
Novel Lists
On Tuesday, Harry Hutton of “Chase Me Ladies“‘s Killer Fact was that “P.G. Wodehouse and Raymond Chandler had the same English teacher.” I suspect my dad might have had the at least two ring leaders of future military coups in different West African states study under him, but it’d take some doing to compete with […]
Read More09Dec04 — 0
Is There No End To The Embarrassment?
Yvette Cooper—who used to live next door to me at Balliol—was responsible for a government campaign to reduce the number of teenage pregnancies. According to the statistics collected, its effect seemed to be to make things ever-so-slightly worse and then ever-so-slightly better. These days there’s a whiff of desperation about the issue. Today I discover […]
Read More08Dec04 — 2
Sting, Pitt, Kravitz, McGregor, Banderas, Geek
I had dinner this evening with a nice Filipina post-doc yeast geneticist who, like all of her countrywomen when newly arrived in a location beyond their islands, was carrying something on behalf of another Filipina, in this case a gift from casualsavant for me. Now that I have a copy of The Metrosexual Guide To […]
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